Amid #MeToo, states debate teaching consent to kids

Inside a Catholic school in Portland, Oregon, high school sophomores break into groups to discuss some once-taboo topics: abusive relationships and consent.

At one table, a girl with banana-colored fingernails begins jot down some of the hallmarks of abuse: Physically pain you, verbally abusive, can be one-sided. She pauses to seek input from her classmates, boys and girls alike, before continuing: “It messes up your mentality and your, like, confidence.”

For the first time this year, Central Catholic High School, like public schools in the city, is exploitation educators from a domestic violence shelter to teach kids about what it means to consent. The goal is to reduce sexual violence and harassment among teens and help them understand what behavior is acceptable — and what’s not — before they reach adulthood.

“We’re talking about geologic geological dating violence, sexual assault, relationships, #MeToo — all of those property. I think you have to be intentional about delivery this program into our classrooms,” says David Blue, the school’s director of diversity and inclusion. “How do you look at all of these constant speechs in our society right now?”

What’s happening at this Catholic school in liberal Portland represents a larger debate flowering in blue states and red, as lawmakers, educators and teens themselves probe whether sex education should evolve to better address some of the issues raised by #MeToo. Central to the speech is whether schools should expand course of studys to help kids understand consent — a conception often defined otherwise from state to state.

“#MeToo has brought the issue of consent into the national spotlight, but it’s abundantly clear that people still struggle with the culture shift that’s happening,” aforementioned Jennifer Driver, state policy director of the sex Information and Education Council of the United States, which favors liberal sex ed policies. “When done right, sex education can serve as violence bar. But first, we have to get these policies (enacted).”

Since January, dozens of new sex ed bills have been floated in statehouses, but only five have passed and just two of those require specific instruction about consent, according to the Guttmacher Institute, which tracks sex and generative health issues. In all, 10 states and the District of Columbia require that consent be part of sex ed course of study. The states are: California, Connecticut, Maryland, New Jersey, Illinois, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Vermont and Virginia.

Meantime, according to Driver’s group, 32 states require that abstinence be stressed in schools that teach sex education. And most federal funding for sex ed in recent years has gone to abstinence programs, to the tune of $2 billion since 1981.

The divide over how to teach sex ed has long split on the question of whether kids are “sexual beings,” aforementioned Jonathan Zimmerman, an education professor at the University of Pennsylvania.

The apparatus has swung from the explicit information on sex, contraceptive method and sexually transmitted diseases taught amid the AIDS epidemic in the eighties and nineties to the abstinence-focused agenda that followed the rise of conservative politics, especially in the Bible Belt.

With the #MeToo movement, the apparatus may be inching back, at least when it comes to efforts to curb sexual violence.

A few abstinence-focused states, so much as Virginia and South Carolina, have added consent to the course of study.

And Oklahoma lawmakers this year considered a bill that would have forced high schools to teach consent. Called “Lauren’s Law,” the measure was named for a teen who aforementioned she was pillaged at a high school party. The legislative assembly eventually passed a narrower measure requiring that schools with a sex ed course of study incorporate teaching about consent. It leaves other districts of the hook, but state Sen. Carol Bush, the Republican sponsor, called it “baby steps.”

Bush aforementioned she raised two daughters in a Christian home but that a background in public health taught her of the need for comprehensive sex ed programs.

“I hate that we call it sex ed. It’s more that you’re a valued person — boy or girl — and we need to help our children understand that,” aforementioned Bush, adding the bill was toothsome to conservative colleagues because it lets teens know they have the right to say “no” to sex. She believes an increase in the number of women and jr. lawmakers this year helped build consensus.

As with most issues in education, local school districts play a big role in shaping sex education course of study, and galore state Torah on sex ed are deliberately vague.

In Cadillac, Michigan, a dependably Republican town of about 10,500 people, school leadership proactively teach consent after the school board voted more than a decade ago to change its sex ed course of study from “abstinence only” to “abstinence based.” These years county public public prosecutor Jason Elmore regularly visits the town’s high school to deliver a sometimes amazing message about consent.

Speaking to a freshmen health class last month, he patted his chest, lower abdomen and inner thighs piece explaining that anyone under 16 cannot engage in sexual contact there without committing a crime — “even if it’s a fellow or a girlfriend.”

Elmore let the conception of who can do what with whom sink in as the students sat wordlessly. Then he explained what it means for sexual contact to be “freely and honestly given” and how alcohol and marijuana are often involved in cases he sees. In the past year alone, he told the class, he’s prosecuted a six sex-related cases involving Cadillac students.

“In this school?!” one baffled boy exclaimed.

A 2017-18 survey found that 15 percentage of Cadillac ninth-graders and 55 percentage of 11th-graders aforementioned they’d had sexual intercourse. And 1 in 10 aforementioned they’d been hit by a geologic geological dating partner.

Health teacher Cathy Booher believes more students today understand what it means to give consent and respect boundaries. But inevitably, not long after Elmore’s class, she aforementioned: “A week or two later, we’ve had an incident.”

In Tennessee, where the state mandates an abstinence-based course of study, some teenagers are leading their own discussions about consent. The state’s sex ed law, known as the 2012 “Gateway Law,” not only prohibits the discussion of sexual activities that stop short of intercourse — alleged “gateway sexual behaviors” — it imposes $500 fines on instructors who wade into the topic.

In Memphis, students who are part of the advocacy group Memphis Against Sexual Harassment and Assault have lobbied the school district to fill its Title IX director’s job, conducted peer training on consent, organized “Survivor Power Coffee Hours,” and taken part in a “Memphis Says No More” poster campaign designed to promote awareness about sexual harassment and violence. The school board has in agreement to distribute the posters in all middle and high schools this fall, the teens aforementioned.

These issues are personal to youth leadership Devin Dearmore and Savanah Thompson. Dearmore, 18, aforementioned she was sexually annoyed by a staff member before transferring high schools. Thompson, 15, aforementioned she was catcalled, groped, pinned against a locker by some other student — and later blame for it — in eighth grade.

“I think there’s this thing in the South that you just don’t talk about property — provocative property,” Thompson aforementioned. “We’re being taught all of these property preparing us for college . but they’re not teaching you how to cope with property that can derail your life. … That’s where our school system — and school systems nationwide — have failing us. In middle and elementary school, I didn’t know I could say no.”

Some who oppose teaching consent believe it signals an approval of teen sexual activity.

Mary Anne Mosack, who runs an abstinence education group called Ascend, aforementioned her group has been talking about consent for years but in the context that “avoiding sex is your best option.” Ascend has trained some 1,500 instructors to teach what it calls “sexual risk aversion” in public and private schools, clubs, foster homes and more.

Measures like Tennessee’s “Gateway Law” are not meant to chill discussion on important issues, Mosack aforementioned, but to limit those that stray too far into supposed safe-sex topics so much as “naked cuddling” and “showering together.”

“In Tennessee and in other states, too, people were looking at those kinds of topics that were being conferred, and felt they were inappropriate,” she aforementioned.

Critics of abstinence-based programs say they shut down desperately needed speechs. And if they are meant to curtail sexual activity in places like Tennessee, the results appear questionable. A study last month in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that Memphis was first among 17 tube areas surveyed in the rate of boys engaged in preteen sex. The survey found 1 in 4 boys have sex before their thirteenth birthday.

As for teaching students to delay sex until marriage, Columbia University research worker John Santilli considers that unreasonable in a country where just 3 percentage of people do so.

“Abstinence until marriage in America in 2019? It’s an impossible goal,” aforementioned Santilli, who studies pediatrics and population health and aforementioned that more than half of Americans have sex before departure high school. “On the other hand, I think we ought to tell young people if they’re not ready to have sex with people, if they’ve had too much to drink, if they somehow feel uncomfortable with person, they can say no. To me, that’s feminism in action.”

He led a recent study that found teaching “refusal skills” in high school can cut the chances person is pillaged in college in half.

In Oregon, Central Catholic High Principal John Garrow hoped to balance students’ need for information with the Roman Catholic creed on abstinence before marriage. He evaluated several programs before choosing Raphael House, whose mission includes work with sexual and domestic assault survivors.

“We’re trying to do our best to follow the teachings and at the same time be realistic, because as a school you lose your relevance real quickly if you’re not real,” Garrow aforementioned.

In the sophomore health class in April, two Raphael House instructors asked students to consider signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships. Does your partner make you feel valued? Stupid? Scared?

“It, like, opened my eyes,” aforementioned Ramaya Wright, 15. “I didn’t know those are a lot of the signs of an abusive relationship.”

Julia Tycer, a Raphael House educator, aforementioned consent comes into play not just in geologic geological dating relationships but in all of our interactions, every day.

“It’s never really too early to be talking about consent,” she aforementioned. “Practicing consent is really just asking, ‘Are you OK?'”